Managing social distancing & home-stay with young children
I. Structure, consistency & relationships are key:
None of us “know” what the right thing to do is in an unprecedented situation. Luckily, kids don’t need us to be perfect; they need us to be present. Relationships are foundational, finding time to play, to support, to just be with. Consistency, routines, relationships & being there with them, keeps kids RESILIENT.
II. Make space for feelings:
Shield your kids from scary news. No matter how good you are at keeping the news off till they’re in bed, kids will almost certainly pick up that something feels strange.
Their routines are changing, they can’t see their friends, they’re going to ask questions! When they do, answer them in a way that is simple, true, and grounded in present if your child asks about his grandparents, you might say, “We can’t see Grandma right now. I know you miss her a lot, and I do too. Let's draw a card for her today & we can email it to her".
III. Schedule playtime:
It’s primarily through play that children find that deep inner space where they understand what’s happening. Help facilitate self-directed play. The more kids play on their own, the better at it they are, and the longer they can do it. Very young children or kids who aren’t used to getting long periods of unstructured activity, can be guided by parents in the beginning.
IV. Encourage children to play by themselves:
Parent can start a 'cooking' game with them or 'decorating house for a party' & gradually after 10-15 mins withdraw & let the child take it forward on their own.
If we give them the right materials, children would soon be able to learn to play by themselves. Give them open-ended play materials like stones, shells, leaves, paper and crayons, dolls, blocks, and dress-up clothes. Be sure to keep them in easily accessible places.
V. Nourish your child’s relationships:
Kids are social creatures, and this is a hard time for them to be away from their friends and loved ones. Rather than expecting your child to engage in a long video conversation, continue your video chat with family & let kids engage on their own terms. It’s really about presence, they know Grandma/ loved one is there if they want to say hi.
Make cards for their friends & family, send & receive them through emails regularly.
VI. Use screens mindfully:
In these times, we may bend a little bit and that’s fine. No one should judge anyone for that but let’s remember to use screens mindfully as we know that screens do distract kids and what children get out of looking at screens is something outside of them. It doesn’t provide them the same sort of inner resource that play does.
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