The Child in first seven years is like a sponge...

“What you say to him, what you teach him, does not yet make any impression…but it is what you are that matters.” (Rudolf Steiner)

The child during the first seven years is like a sponge. They soak the water, which we put them in- clean or muddy. So there is no shortcut, ‘Walking the talk’ is the only way.

A young child is a creature of habit, even more than we are. Memory that children develop in early years has its basis in ‘imitation’ and not ‘understanding’. Close adults- parents & educators become role models and their repetitive actions become habits of the child.

(Excerpts from Stephen Spitalny’s book ‘Conscious Parenting’)
If a child has the habit of whining, or a habit of taking toys that another child is already using, we must understand that the habit started as a strategy to get what the child wants or needs. A strategy that works is used again, and again, and again, and becomes a habit.

So we adults have to start thinking, “How can I offer a different strategy for the child?”
Young children learn by imitation, and we have to learn how to work with that principle.

When a child runs into the house and leaves the door open, you can gently close the door while saying, “I like the door to be closed.”

When a child takes a toy from another, you can hold out your hand, palm up, and say, “It is his turn now.” And hand the toy back to the one who previously had it. And add, “You can have a turn next.”
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In the above two examples, the parent ‘gets up’ and ‘does’ the action before using the speech and this is important to remember. It is the action over the speech that stays most with the child. 

The speech if used should be ‘affirmative’, simple and should have clarity. Speech when used should emphasize ‘what the child needs to do’ which clears the confusion and gives him an alternative to his old habit.

P.S. If you get a chance, do read Walt Whitman’s poem online- ‘There was a child went forth everyday’, it’s beautiful :)